November 23, 2009
I feel like an Aunt Agony.
So everyone’s still coming to me for advice/therapeutic sessions. What’s new?
I honestly don’t think I’m any good at them, but somehow my “customers” always leave satisfied or with a smile on their face.
Just to be cocky, (yeah, it’s fun) maybe it’s because of my wit, my way with words and my amazing ability to express myself.
All of the nonsense aside.
One-to-one sessions work for me. During those sessions, I have more capacity to listen and not have my A.D.D. kicked in. I sympathise better (I usually can’t empathise…) too, hopefully making the person feel more… loved? Not the best choice of words, but now not’s the time to be flowery.
However, if it’s many to one, I’m a lost cause. My A.D.D. will kick in, I don’t feel like crying in front of everyone and I will usually end up being the comic relief one. Gaining many disapproving looks and the occasional *WHACK*.
Frankly speaking, I feel totally awkward. It’s like, uh huh, yeah, mm hmm, the occasional question, for the entire hour or maybe even a few hours. The person rants on, shedding a few tears, then making me have a physical pain in my heart etc.
Trust me, when I say “have a physical pain in my heart”, it really hurts. Authors were not kidding when they said “Heartbreak”. The pain really is there. It’s as if your heart is twisting and winding arteries and veins around it then trying to separate it from your heart itself.
I guess the person just needs to release all the bottled up stress/sadness/whatever emotion the person has and speak his mind. But it’s kind of affecting me as well.
In what ways, I will not reveal.
I just don’t feel comfortable because I think I’ll always make the person feel worse about himself.
Don’t shun away and avoid me for counselling after reading this. I am most glad to help you. Just that I’m sorry if I screw everything up for you.

I feel like an Aunt Agony.

So everyone’s still coming to me for advice/therapeutic sessions. What’s new?

I honestly don’t think I’m any good at them, but somehow my “customers” always leave satisfied or with a smile on their face.

Just to be cocky, (yeah, it’s fun) maybe it’s because of my wit, my way with words and my amazing ability to express myself.

All of the nonsense aside.

One-to-one sessions work for me. During those sessions, I have more capacity to listen and not have my A.D.D. kicked in. I sympathise better (I usually can’t empathise…) too, hopefully making the person feel more… loved? Not the best choice of words, but now not’s the time to be flowery.

However, if it’s many to one, I’m a lost cause. My A.D.D. will kick in, I don’t feel like crying in front of everyone and I will usually end up being the comic relief one. Gaining many disapproving looks and the occasional *WHACK*.

Frankly speaking, I feel totally awkward. It’s like, uh huh, yeah, mm hmm, the occasional question, for the entire hour or maybe even a few hours. The person rants on, shedding a few tears, then making me have a physical pain in my heart etc.

Trust me, when I say “have a physical pain in my heart”, it really hurts. Authors were not kidding when they said “Heartbreak”. The pain really is there. It’s as if your heart is twisting and winding arteries and veins around it then trying to separate it from your heart itself.

I guess the person just needs to release all the bottled up stress/sadness/whatever emotion the person has and speak his mind. But it’s kind of affecting me as well.

In what ways, I will not reveal.

I just don’t feel comfortable because I think I’ll always make the person feel worse about himself.

Don’t shun away and avoid me for counselling after reading this. I am most glad to help you. Just that I’m sorry if I screw everything up for you.

November 14, 2009
Yes, I admit.
I am a sucker for Disney movies.
The morals, the sadness, the happiness et cetra elicit only one response: tears.
I guess my image of being manly is tarnished but who cares?
They were going to find out sooner or later.
So I’m not a really big fan of watching Disney Channel but they showed The Hunchback of Notre Dame tonight so they drew me in and I became an instant but temporal fan.
Here comes the long-winded musing.
Chuck Palah once wrote that: “If I can’t be beautiful, I want to be invisible.”
Well, Quasimodo isn’t much of eye-candy. Heck, his face is hideous and revolting.
But at least he has a heart!
30 minutes into the movie, there was this scene where the crowd throws rotten tomatoes and other good food at him.
Sure, some people in the crowd were such lookers. However, did anyone stop the crowd from humiliating and torturing Quasi? No. Inner beauty is evidently absent.
Gypsy Girl Esmeralda sure is beautiful. But, she’s a Gypsy.
Frankly speaking, I have no idea why Gypsies are stereotyped as cunning. Esmeralda was altruistic and good-natured &probably the only person who cared for Quasimodo.
Let’s swerve back to the “outer beauty but inner beauty absent” theory.
Same for these artists these days. Let’s talk about mainstream. I don’t think I need to tell you any more. If I do, you’re a letdown. Just look at Lady Gaga, PCD, Britney et cetra. The list is never-ending.
Just for the record, I cried 6 times in this movie.

Yes, I admit.

I am a sucker for Disney movies.

The morals, the sadness, the happiness et cetra elicit only one response: tears.

I guess my image of being manly is tarnished but who cares?

They were going to find out sooner or later.

So I’m not a really big fan of watching Disney Channel but they showed The Hunchback of Notre Dame tonight so they drew me in and I became an instant but temporal fan.

Here comes the long-winded musing.

Chuck Palah once wrote that: “If I can’t be beautiful, I want to be invisible.”

Well, Quasimodo isn’t much of eye-candy. Heck, his face is hideous and revolting.

But at least he has a heart!

30 minutes into the movie, there was this scene where the crowd throws rotten tomatoes and other good food at him.

Sure, some people in the crowd were such lookers. However, did anyone stop the crowd from humiliating and torturing Quasi? No. Inner beauty is evidently absent.

Gypsy Girl Esmeralda sure is beautiful. But, she’s a Gypsy.

Frankly speaking, I have no idea why Gypsies are stereotyped as cunning. Esmeralda was altruistic and good-natured &probably the only person who cared for Quasimodo.

Let’s swerve back to the “outer beauty but inner beauty absent” theory.

Same for these artists these days. Let’s talk about mainstream. I don’t think I need to tell you any more. If I do, you’re a letdown. Just look at Lady Gaga, PCD, Britney et cetra. The list is never-ending.

Just for the record, I cried 6 times in this movie.

November 9, 2009
I’m not that good at baking.
& I’ll probably never bake again.
So sue me.

I’m not that good at baking.

& I’ll probably never bake again.

So sue me.

October 30, 2009
October 27, 2009

God?

andyhorst:

I got the new Regina Spektor record a few weeks ago.  If you haven’t heard her, she’s fantastic.  She has a very unique approach to her songwriting.  But anyways, she has a song called Laughing With… here’s the lyrics below. (I may post the song on my blog later if you would like.)  It just got me thinking about a lot of what I hear around the various cultures I get to see in my life.  Don’t get your guard up if you don’t believe in God… I’m not here to tell you what to think.  If anything I just want help people actually think every once in awhile.  I am merely observing and questioning.

LAUGHING WITH - Regina Spektor

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls
After some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God
when it’s gotten real late
And their kid’s not back from that party yet

No one laughs at God when their airplane
Starts to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God
When they see the one they love hand in hand
with someone else and they hope that they’re mistaken
No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door
And they say “We’ve got some bad news, sir,”
No one’s laughing at God
When there’s a famine, fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
When the crazies say he hates us
and they get so red in the head
You think that they’re about to choke
God can be funny
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus

God can be so hilarious
Ha ha, ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
when they’ve lost all they got
And they don’t know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize
that the last sight they’ll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one’s laughing at God
When they’re saying their goodbyes

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
When the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head
you think that they’re about to choke
God can be funny
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
(repeat)
No one’s laughing at God in a hospital
No one’s laughing at God in a war

No one’s laughing at God
When they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one’s laughing at God
(repeat)
We’re all “laughing with God”


We’ve made God a household name.  And at the end of the day I don’t know whether to smile or weep.  For the most part, everyone “knows” God.  He’s our buddy when we feel like it.  But what happened to fearing Him.  What happened to the irreverent God that the Saints laid their lives for.  Have we somehow stripped God of his power?

We’ve turned God into a joke, or a place for temporary comfort when we’ve got no where else to go.  But is there anyone left who fears, and trusts?

People on the Indonesian island of Bali believe there are gods in everything, even the pieces of garbage on the street.  They show respect to all the gods out of fear, because they believe that their gods are more powerful than themselves, and no one wants a god angry with them.  Around the world, America is known as a “Christian” nation…  In this “Christian” nation we’ve been taught that God is the God of grace, and unconditional love.  While that message may remain true, we’ve been left with an image of God as a pacifist, sissy creator who is there to give us hand outs and “attaboys.”  I feel like the Christian church as a whole has lost a true image of the God of the Bible.

Does anyone still believe in God?  And I don’t mean the idea of God… I mean does anyone still believe in GOD?

this makes me think. this also makes me very very sad. ):

October 25, 2009
October 23, 2009

Harsh

I’ve been plagued by poor choices of words these days.

It’s because i’m being impetuous, cranky or PMSing. Or maybe just a cocktail of these 3.

So sue me but I can’t do anything about it.

Apology is sometimes too hard and unnecessary, since my arguments were valid and legitimate. Or rather more legit than the other party’s.

I’m being headstrong and pigheaded.

Dayum, this blows but I can’t really be bothered to go through the words in my head before releasing them through death pit.

Or maybe I should to prevent any further mistakes.

But I always have erasers and whiteout with me. Right?

October 21, 2009

Upcoming

Exams are over.

/Cue screaming and jumping.

This sparks the start of another chapter of routine life.

School is going to end in two weeks, I’m shuffling my feet till then.

Training resumes, throwing, pitching, batting, catching.

I’ll still have to wake up early in the morning, so what’s the point?

At least I’m going to try to make my life interesting.

More photography, more disney movies!

Movies list for the hols:

- Aladdin 1,2,3

- Toy Story 1&2

- Little Mermaid 1,2,3,

- Where the Wild Things Are

- Fight Club (if I can’t wait till I’m eighteen)

- Brother Bear 1&2

- All Batman Movies

Tentative. Updating more soon.

Don’t ask why my exhilaration isn’t contagious.

That’s simply because I’m not even excited. Oh joy.

My mind’s been split on decisions and the last paper killed all my existing brain cells.

Looks like it’ll take a long time to recover from excessive loss of brain cells this time.

Eyelids are heavy, brain is threatening to shut down. I’m 5 hours away from bedtime.

My hard drive and memory card’s going to be cleared after tonight. That will be a painful process.

64 more days to Christmas!

That’s the most exciting thing that’s going to happen to me.

October 14, 2009
First your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life.

- Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk

I can’t please everyone.

October 13, 2009

erichalvorsen:

this is amazing!

stephenjames:

the summer set - chelsea (music video)
Wicked! I’ve been waiting for this since forever never.